Saturday, April 17, 2004

Yes! New layout. Not good, but I'm low on ideas and needed to slap one out quick. Driver's ed was okay, and I lost a two-week break that was meant to be a break.

The only day I really got to rest is today, last Monday, and the weekend. Everything else was "work like hell, girl"!

The scrollbars suck. Nothing changes it. HTML just sucks.

And let me tell you that living off of paranoia is BAD, BAD, BAD.

Some people were built to be great people to shine and do well and be perfect with star lives and so on, and some were not built for that.

I'm a horrible person. I'm not on an angst-spree. I just know I am.

Friday, April 9, 2004

Have I not updated in a while?

Well...I went to Camp Hammer for community service and it was so much fun :)! It was so much better than last year and even Ji agrees :P. I don't know...

I've never had so much fun doing work than I ever had XD.

And now I am home and I realize everything on my computer is wiped out. The only thing I did save were all of my story files. Everything else is gone.

So Midorichi...could you return that PSP as soon as possible? Call me about it? :);;.

Geh.

There were too many fun things that happened there XD. I would have to write a book if I were to explain what happened. And it wouldn't be as funny if you weren't there...those kind of things.

And I was really surprised of how seemingly out of character some people were. Some positive, some very positive, some negative, some extremely negative.

Learned a few things there too.

Of course, I wouldn't like to work again for another four days, but it was fun while it lasted ^^~

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Low and behold! Read and be moved by my oh so newfound/evolved/improved writing skills. Hopefully they have improved.

Yes, especially you, Wusai :)~. You be the judge.

I wrote after reading the Lord of the Flies. You know what that's gonna mean.

I'm hungry.

Monday, March 22, 2004

I know many of you so-called "mature" teens, will think I'm an adolescent of your age rebelling against a Mom that you all wish you had because of her insane goals, but...

I hate it. I have no idea where she gets the idea that she is doing a big, f~~~ing favor by making sure I get into college and have a good life along with a good husband.

Want to know where this started from?

A book that I did not tell her to return to the library.

So I bailed my SAT II, so I rot in Chem and Math, and so I don't meet her expectations as a perfect, Chinese daughter could do.

Now I'm sure that the perfect students aren't having this kind of trouble with the million A+'s they're whining/bragging about, but I have issues apparently since I don't seem to be getting the million A's.

The whole car trip was a disaster. She think she is so cool by calling me an asshole, thinking that that would make her more adjustable to today.

Let me tell you, that sounded so forced, so out of place, and made her look incredibly stupid. Incredibly.

My brother was like 'Wtf?' when she spat that out at me. Well I know most sane parents of private school students do not say that to well-off students but my mom is not sane.

Her expectations are out of my range.

She needs a new daughter.

Added- If you ever get to read this, thank you Sarah so much for being there. You have no idea how much you helped by listening and not going on and on of "I dunno what to say. Sorry!!". There is no possible way I can see talking to my mom can help.

It is called being a perfect, "encouraging" mother that is "pushing" me to work harder. Right.-added

Added- Oley! -added-

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Okay, so you're satisfied yet that I am an idiot and good-for-nothing at all? Well now I am a failure, thank you. Everything in all I do is not enough or does not matter and everyone else knows what is going on and is going to go to college but me.

So I have a C in Chem, a B+ in Math, and taking 2 AP classes along with English Honors in my 11th grade year as with taking an internship with market communications and SAT II Math IIC tutoring over the summer 40 hours a week to make sure I get into college wasn't good enough.

I also got to take a THIRD AP class called AP Calculus AB which I know I will not be getting into.

And so I am a failure and my work means nothing so instead seeing me depressed and staying up until dawn, it by far does not matter as long as I get into a good university, a 1600 on my SAT, a 5.0 GPA, and a high paying job along with a PhD so I can get a big house and have a good life.

In order to do that, I must make sure I must kill myself when I am sixteen and seventeen in order to achieve that goal.

In order to do that, I must make sure that I sacrifice anything I can if it includes my current mental state or if I am happy in any sort of way in giving up anything that I love doing.

So I want to write, paint, and design but oh no, that is not aloud because no where does it say that I can get a good paying job or even better, a good life with a giant house for me to enjoy my good life in.

Those are just hobbies. So Mom and Dad do not care if I cut myself or anything as long as it stays as an inspiration to make sure I get the best out of the best and go to a good university, get a PhD, get a good job, live in a giant house, and live the rest of my life peacefully.

What I want HAS TO STAY OUT OF THE PICTURE. Because if I get what I want, I won't go to a good university, get a PhD, get a good job, live in a giant house, and live the rest of my life peacefully.

No. Nothing I have is good enough. It will never be.

This is something I can tell you easily because you can't do anything about it.

This is something I can't tell my parents about because I'm a struggling Chinese student and Chinese students don't struggle in life so it works out for them and their parents.

I was never depressed before this. It is my parents who have to decide whether or not I am happy. My state of happy (to them) is the good grades. My state of happy (to them) is succeeding.

My state of happy is just doing what I love doing, talking to people, and feeling more secure with people like Amberle, Rebecca, Monica, Elise, and Sarah who won't look down on me for that. I want that so badly. God help me.

Monday, March 22, 2004

My Aerith and Nelly Fanlistings needs some serious updating layout wise.

Sigh.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Agh! I can't visit anyone's xangas since it keeps redirecting me to all these Amazon ads. It takes me about five minutes with "Stop" skills to keep it from redirecting. So annoying.

Why don't you look down on everyone else for a change?

I'm being sarcastic.

I'm saying no one, really. Whatever.

School can be a very dangerous place to speak your mind. There's always a fault to it.

It houses idiots.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

There's this f***ing toolbar that keeps popping up that I can't get rid of.

Didn't mention this for. Yesterday in Art...

Richard puts in Ms. Sweet's boombox, Darkness. Patrick gets angry. He goes and turns it off. Richard whines. Richard goes back to the boombox and turns it on. Patrick goes back to it. Richard takes boombox away and protects it. Patrick unplugs it.

Day 2(Today) of "Darkness" crisis.
Richard gets his revenge. Richard brings his boombox. Richard brings 4 burned CD's of Darkness. Patrick breaks two of them. End of Art class, Richard puts in Darkness in his boombox and laughs on his way out. Patrick follows.

I do not know what happened afterwards but it was fun.

Katherine got a nice new layout!

Need to add Janelle to the "buddy list" real soon.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

New Layout of Haibane Renmei :)!

I chickened out for asking my Chem test back. Oley!

The Witch Hunter Robin episode was g00dish. Can't wait for the one tonight! I guess may have to work on a poem since yea...

Anyway, I'm having a bit of fun!

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Damn I haven't been updating lately.

Updates? Had 6 tests this week, 3 on Monday, one yesterday, one today, and one more on Friday. Thursday will be my "Test-Relief" Day.

Ahem, a few "kind" words to Midorichi. Just kidding XD. Okay, make your account on pitas as zatsu_midori and come up with your own password. Ya. Follow the one on zatsu_misai.pitas.com since it'll need to look exactly like that.

Pshwa, also, D00d, you've only just finished Thermo? We're done with Solubility and going to Kinetics. Thermo was four weeks ago for us :P~!

I love to brag how fast our Chem class goes

....

and how fast we die like flies.

Oley!

Oldies anime shows rock. Sorta. I love making fun of them now and I realize "how stupid was I to ever like such a thing?"

I watched that Pokemon episode of the Pokemon race with Rapidash/Ponyta and Dodrio. Dodrio man is George Bush and Ash is trying to race for John Kerry's presidential race. The Electrode d00d is for Howard Dean. John Edwards is somewhere. Yeah. No, he stayed behind to help Kerry fight.

Fight on!

And Ponyta/Rapidash's owner Laura "Bush" thanks Ash for winning for John Kerry and Ash wishes Laura "Bush" some luck of finding his husband that flew away and Rapidash/Ponyta kicked him sky high where everyone can see, where the Rapidash/Ponyta can be executed for counts of first degree murderer and manslaughter but nobody cares.

Anyway, had two teeth pulled. Ouch.

I drool blood on the pillow. I wake up and go "WOAH!" thats a lot of blood.

I love ice cream. :)!

Sunday, March 7, 2004

The Gummi Bears theme song is so gay

Someone is being a buggard/bitch about the SAT's and it certainly is not me.

Katherine, replaced the Zatsuroku layout with something...make your pitas account now for it~! :P!

Mines for that is zatsu_misai.pitas.com

So copy the code from there?

I love The Crow Left Murder.

Friday, March 5, 2004

Sorry Midorichi.

I'm just stuck. Literally. The layout thing is in the way. It's like...lack of creativity, you know.

Sigh. Need a break :)~!

Name----------------------------------------
Misai (aka Eve) is a proffesional procrastinator of 15 years currently dwelling within California. While not studying, she is observed, usually eating, and is attending 10th grade within the most painful school in existence. Despite that, she enjoys anything Squenix-related (discluding Unlimited Saga), loves writing and creating more than anything else, but likes to draw and paint as well...more?

Statistic------------------------------------
This is the unamed blog's layout, version May 2004. Since, I've lost track (unlike all of you organized people who can actually count; I envy you :P!) it's easier just to go by months. The girl on the layout is the 19-year old High Summoner Yuna of Final Fantasy X-2. Picture belongs to Square-Enix, brushes from various sources, content and ideas belong to me. PSP7 and Notepad was used for this layout, do not steal.

Dearly Beloved-------------------------
Allison, Alison, BMW, Chien, Christie, Daphne, Gabby, Janie, Jen, JonT, Josh, Kat, Katherine, Katrea, Kitsune, KMan, Lenka, Lily, Memlu, Nathan, Noelle, Paige, Reiko, Rilla, Sam, Scott, Sena, SmilBe, Ty, Wusai, Yami

Fun-------------------------------------------
Likes and dislikes of general stuff...can't be too specific here, can't I? book: To Kill a Mocking Bird (Harper Lee) and Falling Angels(Tracy Chevalier); cd:Three Days Grace; song:Outkast (Hey Ya); game:FFCC; tv show;American Idol; likes:lots of things; dislikes:too many to list;